Apologies
by DystopianDuckie
Summary: Keyla Detmer wants to apologise to Michael and they have a heart-to-heart about the things they have been through.


"I'm sorry," Keyla said, cutting through the silence.

"I don't believe you have anything to apologise for, Lieutenant," Michael replied, "your work on the bridge today was exemplary as usual."

"I'm not - that's very kind of you -" Keyla stumbled, caught off guard by Michael's compliments, "but I wasn't talking about my work."

"Then what do you have to apologise for?" Michael asked, tilting her head to the side as though assessing her.

"My behaviour towards you when you came on board," Keyla said, feeling the weight of the words fall from her shoulders as she finally let them be spoken. "I wouldn't even look at you." She felt sick just remembering it, how she had refused to even look at the woman who had been through so much, suffered _so much_. Had Starfleet - hell had Georgiou not taught her better than that?

"It was only natural that you turned me away," Michael said quietly. "I started a war and got our captain killed, Connor killed, you injured."

"That's not true," Keyla said firmly. She had been wanting to say those words for months, waiting for a moment to tell Michael that none of this had been her fault. "The war would have happened with or without you. The Klingon's were ready for a fight."

"You can't deny I was the one who lit the torch that started it all," Michael told her, shaking her head.

"Your parents were murdered by Klingon's, Michael, you were hardly going to be objective when it came to them."

"A good Vulcan should be objective in all things."

Keyla resisted the urge to point out that Michael was, in fact, human. Somewhere in her lifetime, the two had merged. She had been raised in part by Vulcans, did that not give her a claim to the name?

"You went through a huge trauma, you should have at least had some councilling. Not that therapy seems to be high on the Federation's agenda." She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice, remembering how she had sobbed after her injury, all alone with no-one to talk to. Of all the things that had happened since then, the mirror universe and the spore drive. All the things she couldn't talk about, all the things that pushed her further from the people she loved. Not even Tazzy could help her through the horrors she had dealt with since coming aboard the Discovery.

"I'm not sure I would have been receptive to therapy," Michael answered, but she looked like she was considering it. "Did you not get treatment when you were injured?"

"They patched me up alright," Keyla laughed hollowly, "repaired my brain and gave me a swanky new eye and shipped me off as new. The Shenzhou had only been gone six months when they assigned me here and I unconscious for most of that."

"You must have had a psych evaluation before you were reassigned," Michael frowned.

"You knew Lorca, do you really think that was something he cared about?" Keyla asked.

"I suppose not."

"Six months was not enough time. Not for me. Looking back I think he was the only one who would take me. I thought I was lucky when I got the assignment, lucky that I could fly again. I can't imagine thinking anything was lucky about that man."

"I thought the same when I came aboard. Somewhere beneath all the guilt, I was happy to be able to serve again, to be free."

"At least some good came from him," Keyla told Michael, and more importantly, herself, "we ended up together. There's no way we would have survived what we've been through if it wasn't for this crew, hell if it wasn't for Tilly."

Michael laughed, the sound warming Keyla's heart. She had never expected them to get to a stage where they made each other laugh again.

"Tilly is the best of us," Michael agreed when she had controlled her laughter.

"I wish I could have seen your face the first time you two met," Keyla chuckled. Tilly had recounted the moment for her countless times, but nothing would ever compare to the original.

"I thought I was going to kill her right in that room," Michael sighed, "but she grew on me. Her joy is infectious."

"She's a good friend," Keyla said, remembering all the games of Kadis-Kot that Tilly had beaten her at.

"So are you," Michael said quietly, staring straight into Keyla's eyes as though she couldn't run from it anymore.

"I wasn't," Keyla protested.

"We weren't many things," Michael reasoned. "It is how we act now that matters. I of all people should appreciate the value of second chances. Your apology is accepted, Keyla."

"Thank you," Keyla simply said, already feeling the possibilities of their renewed friendship spreading out before her. "You should join Tilly and me for Kadis-Kot sometime, I'm sure Airiam would be honoured if you took her place."

"I'll consider it," Michael said hesitantly, "although I'm not sure I can compete with Tilly."

"Oh," Keyla smiled, "no-one can compete with Tilly, but she still gets so excited when she wins."

"Then maybe I will join you," Michael told her.

Keyla smiled again. There were so many things she couldn't fix, so many friends and mentors that she couldn't bring back. To fix one friendship was a relief, a joy. She didn't want to waste her time with Michael because both of them were too far into the dark and maybe this, this reconnection, was one step closer to the light.


End file.
